Iggy Loomis, A Hagfish Called Shirley by Jennifer Allison

Author:Jennifer Allison
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group, USA
Published: 2014-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

“‘Dear Shirley’” Chauncey read, faking an accent that was supposed to sound French but instead just sounded annoying: “‘I mees you zoooooo much! I feel like you are steel cloze by! Even zoe you are far away!’”

Alistair looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car as Chauncey read his “Dear Shirley” letter aloud to the whole class.

“Sounds like a long-distance relationship, Alistair,” Chauncey teased.

“Well, it’s not really—” Alistair began, but Chauncey cut him off and kept reading:

“‘I vill never ever forget you! SHIRLEY! MA DAHLING! MA PET!’”

“I’ll take that, thank you very much!” Mr. Binns came up behind Chauncey and snatched the notebook away from him. “Back to your seat, Chauncey.”

Mr. Binns clapped his hands to make everyone in the classroom stop giggling. “I apologize for Chauncey’s behavior, Alistair,” he said, handing the Shirley-covered notebook back to Alistair.

“Listen, people,” Mr. Binns continued. “There is no place for rude behavior like what Chauncey just did in this classroom. Understand?”

Everyone got quiet. Chauncey scowled.

“Furthermore, I don’t want any boy in this class to ever feel bad just because he likes a girl. That is Alistair’s personal business.”

That got everyone giggling again. Didn’t Mr. Binns know when to stop?

“Mr. Binns?” I raised my hand, feeling that I should at least try to help Alistair with this situation.

“Yes, Daniel?”

“I just want to say that Shirley isn’t actually Alistair’s girlfriend.” I figured that if I didn’t speak up for Alistair, the teasing would never end. “Shirley was Alistair’s pet, and he’s sad because he lost her yesterday.”

Hearing that news, everyone stopped giggling. In Mr. Binns’s classroom, losing a girlfriend or boyfriend is a big joke, but losing a pet is serious business.

“We had to put my dog, Lady, to sleep last summer because she was really sick,” a girl named Catherine said. “I cried for a whole week. Even my dad cried.”

“One of my pet frogs died just a couple weeks ago,” a boy named Carlos said.

It turned out that just about everyone in Mr. Binns’s classroom except Chauncey had either lost a pet or knew someone who did.

“Pets are very important to us,” Mr. Binns said, after everyone shared a story. “So we can all understand how Alistair must feel right now. Right, Chauncey?”

Chauncey shrugged. “All pets do is beg for snacks,” he said.

“No they don’t!” said Catherine. “Lady could do lots of tricks! She could even ride a scooter!”

Everyone wanted to hear more about Catherine’s dog Lady and the scooter, but Mr. Binns interrupted, saying that Chauncey needed to apologize to Alistair right now.

Chauncey fidgeted but finally mumbled a not-very-sincere “Sorry.”

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